dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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