i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
