You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
