Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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