You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
