I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
