They should really pass out barf bags in church
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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