if you like me you must not know who I am
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
