Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Damn victory sex feels great
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