its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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