video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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