Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
