For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
