Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
