i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
