Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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