i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize