So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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