He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
