He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
