god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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