She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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