Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
