I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
