Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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