I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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