Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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