Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
