had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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