He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
