Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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