Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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