He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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