just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
