Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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