There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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