I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
