Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
