Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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