Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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