What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
