I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
