i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
