ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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