Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
