I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We had sex on a dog bed..
BRING THE BAGELS
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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