Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize