It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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