Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize