I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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