my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
