a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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