Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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