I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
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There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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