Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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