I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
