Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
