question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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