I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
